If you want to impress your friends, but you’ve run out of other people’s jokes and have neither an accent nor a cool car, don’t give up hope! Whiskey might be your answer. If you sound smart when you talk about whiskey, you’ll be able to make friends, lovers, and probably get a cool career doing something you love. Whiskey is basically the answer to all your problems. Follow the list below to sound smart when you talk about whiskey.
Do Your Research
Before you start throwing around terms like rocks and straight, you better know what you’re talking about. First, you should study up on the many types of whiskey. First of all, you should know that whiskey and whisky are two different things. Don’t go parading around in your I-love-Whiskey shirt before you know what you’re talking about.
- Scotch Whisky– Scotch is produced in Scotland and Scotland only. So if you are looking for single-malt or blended-malt Scotch, know that you are going to be buying a product from Scotland. The single-malt Scotches are sometimes considered the best because they are made at one distillery, while blended Scotch is made from a blend of Scotch whisky from various distilleries. Try out a few of these so you can know which you like best. Some brands to look for are Johnnie Walker, Glenlivet, Dewar’s, and William Grant’s.
- American Whiskey– These are created in, you guessed it, America. But just because these are made in America doesn’t mean you know everything about them. Each different type of whiskey has its own distinct flavors. If, for example, you want something a little spicy, you can drink rye whiskey. Ordering rye whiskey will make you look cool because it’s historical. So when you drink rye, you’re basically conversing with Abe Lincoln or something. Rye whiskey is aged in oak barrels, but what’s more important is that it tastes delicious. Tennessee whiskey is another type of American whiskey but it is filtered through the coals of maple before it gets aged. So whenever you order things like Jack Daniel’s, you are ordering Tennessee whiskey or bourbon whiskey. Bourbon is basically your standard American whiskey. All you need to know is that when you drink whiskey, you’ll look awesome.
Learn Your Terms
Don’t go into a bar depending whiskey mixed with skittles or something. Drink it like a true gentleman: neat.
- Order it Neat– Whiskey “neat” will be poured at room temperature with no ice. This is pretty serious. Once you order whiskey neat, you’ve graduated. You’ve thrown out your little boy shoes and you’ve stepped into your professional man shoes. Or, if you’re a female, you’ve thrown out your little girl shoes and stepped into your professional woman shoes. Anyone can drink whiskey neat, you just have to be careful. This isn’t like pounding a PBR. This is sophisticated. This involves tie clips and suit jackets and pencil skirts. This is the top dog of drinking. Once your order your whiskey, don’t look scared. Breathe regularly. It’s going to be okay. Just start by taking tiny baby sips. When you drink whiskey neat, you are able to get the full flavor profile of the whiskey and, like I said, you’ll look really cool.
- Order it On the Rocks– Whiskey “on the rocks” is whiskey with ice. This is for those whiskey drinkers that want to dilute their whiskey a little bit. Or, if you like really cold things, whiskey on the rocks is for you. No one is going to make fun of you for drinking whiskey on the rocks. At least I hope not. It’s normal! You’re normal. Don’t worry—eventually you’ll be able to sit at the big boy table with the rest of us and drink whiskey straight. Just kidding. Whiskey on the rocks can actually help you taste different flavors, so you can switch between on the rocks and neat to get a different sense of the flavor profiles in each drink.
- Manhattan– This is one classic cocktail. If you want to drink whiskey, but don’t want to pucker your lips like a fool, you can order this drink. Most Manhattans are made with rye whiskey, sweet vermouth, bitters, and a cherry garnish. If you are nervous to ask for it at a bar, find the nearest old man and take him home—he probably knows how to make it better than any one!
It doesn’t really matter how you choose to drink whiskey—it only matters that you’re drinking it. So whether you want it in a mixed drink, neat, or on the rocks, you can still enjoy yourself while looking grown up.
Think About Age
If you want to sound really smart, you’ll start talking about the age of whiskey. According to the Guinness World Records, the oldest whiskey was bottled between 1851 and 1858 by the Glenavon Distillery. But age isn’t the only thing that matters; sometimes, price matters. If you’re rich, you might as well let people know.
Macallan has a bottle of whisky from 1947 that costs around six thousand dollars. If you care about the age of your whisky, you might want to invest in some older bottles. But what if you’re not rich? You can still pretend like you are. If you order some regular American whiskey, say, Jack Daniel’s, you can just tell all your friends that it’s from a really rare bottle of whisky from the 30’s and no, they cannot try it. It’s all yours!
Drink Out of The Right Glass
Let’s face it. There are many different types of whiskey glasses to choose from. You better figure out which one’s right for you before you go hopping around the bar.
- The Glencairn Glass– These glasses are beautiful. Not only will they help you enjoy the aroma of your Scotch, they will look awesome on your counter. This is a great glass to choose if you want to impress your friends.
- The Tumbler Glass– Tumblers are classic. These are great for mixed drinks, but they can also be used to drink whiskey neat. If you want to drink whiskey, but aren’t feeling very adventurous, the tumbler is the way to go.
- The Neat Glass– the Neat glass is pretty fancy. It looks like a bowl. This is like the epitome of all fancy whiskey glasses. It’s on par with your mom’s wine and cheese parties. No, it surpasses those parties. It’s way cooler than those parties. The Neat glass is used for sampling, so if you have a large selection of rare or old whiskeys, this is a great glass to choose because it is designed to help you smell and taste all of the aromas and flavors that are packed into your whiskey.
- Copita Nosing Glass– This glass is similar to the Neat glass because it is designed for smelling. This is for the true whiskey connoisseur. It almost looks like a wine glass, but it comes in a leather gift box, so it’s much cooler than a wine glass.
Drinking whiskey can be fun, but don’t let your lack of knowledge get in the way. Experiment with different blends, ages, and bottles so that you can find your favorite whiskey. Or, if you want to have a whiskey party, you can invite a people to bring their own bottles over for a tasting party. That way, you can have all the fun with only a little of the price. The most important thing to remember is to stay cool. If you’re at a bar ordering whiskey and your friend asks you a whiskey-related question that you don’t know, just pretend like you didn’t hear him. Hopefully the bartender can whisper the answer in your ear before your friend notices.